There have been a fair number of practitioners and scientists in recent years sharing their explorations of the influence of dopamine and our biological ‘reward system’. Dr. Paul Gilbert and Dr Anna Lembke are two that come to mind.
Here I am just going to sum up what I have learned about this system and add my observations.
Like with many things, it seems sensible to start with evolutionary psychology. What did we evolve to help our chances of survival and is it still useful? How do today’s lifestyles tamper with, or unsettle, these natural survival mechanisms? In what ways are our evolved mechanisms not suited to, or necessary for, the way we live now? (There are several answers to major behavioural issues found in the answers to these questions!)
It’s well-understood that the ‘system’ (brain, hormones, neurotransmitters) that drives us to search for rewards is also linked to our experience of pain. In hunter-gatherer times, when food was scarce, this system simply meant that the ‘pain’ of hunger drove us to seek out the ‘reward’ of food. This system meant we would have been motivated to hunt for a long time to eventually get the pleasure of something to eat. This was obviously crucial for survival in times where food was much harder to come by. After we ate, the dopamine and reward system would soon reset, ready to send us on the next hunger-driven hunt a while later.
Nowadays, however, treats and rewards are not only abundant, they’re very easily obtained (no extensive physical hunts outside for us!) and experienced with far greater frequency than our natural systems were designed to work with. This system was not optimised for inundation with the number of ‘pleasure’ hits we can now achieve in the course of a day – through screens, food, shopping, alcohol, caffeine, sugar, gambling etc. In hunter-gatherer times, the pain drove us to seek out a single, hard-earned reward. Modern life often means we often don’t even have to move to attain our desired reward.
It’s also worth considering, that natural systems tend to find ways to settle back into homeostasis – or in other words: they always try to restore a balance. If we are in pain, the system drives us to seek out the pleasure that will alleviate that pain. If we are bombarding ourselves with pleasure, the system will counteract the ‘buzz’ (to prevent the system becoming too lopsided) by reducing the possible amount of pleasure that can be achieved. A huge dose of ‘pleasure’, triggers the inhibition of dopamine transmission across the synapses – that’s why we end up needing more of something to attain the same levels of pleasure – thus addiction.
The system did not evolve to maintain our happiness, it evolved to maximise our chances of survival. The payback for our many and easy ways of accessing ‘dopamine hits’ does appear to be ‘pain’ in the form of anxiety, low mood, agitation, never feeling satisfied, poor sleep etc. and it is likely a contributing factor to the increase in the mental health issues of the western world.
I might also speculate (here comes my bit!) that our access to instant dopamine has resulted in an inability to endure uncomfortable emotions. When we’re bored, are feeling a bit glum or have had a stressful day, rather than sitting with, and enduring those emotions, we search out quick pleasures to distract us or obliterate those feelings as quickly as possible. We might grab a glass of wine after a stressful day – for example. The alcohol soon floods us with an unnaturally large dollop of dopamine. But of course, we’ll feel the payback when the effects of alcohol wear off.
The escaping-from-uncomfortable-emotions-via-quick-pleasures seems to set people on a see-saw of frantic, continuous and probably unnaturally extreme ‘ups’ and ‘downs’. A person has a stressful day, comes home and reaches for the relief of a bottle of wine. The payback of the effects of this wine contribute to the stress of the next day, so the wine is even more needed the following evening etc. Once we become used to this emotional roller-coaster, it seems hard to settle to a more even keel.
There are better and more tranquil – albeit less instantaneous – ways of coping with the aftermath of a stressful day. Finding ways to relax without grabbing a quick fix are much documented. But mostly, if we become reliant on quick hits, it’s helpful to make ourselves aware of what we’re doing and acknowledge the longer term negative impact these ‘remedies’ ultimately have.
Many worthwhile achievements, authentic analytical reflections, addressing difficulties and conflicts, overcoming challenges and problem solving do usually require some endurance of uncomfortable emotions. Once we have accepted, endured and coped with them (and whatever testing situation that meant these were triggered) we nearly always feel satisfyingly better and are a little more resilient for having proven to ourselves that we worked out how to manage and sort something out. Maybe it’s better to consider what we can constructively do about our ‘stressful day’ than try to escape from it.
When I talk with parents and carers, one of my main messages is: help your child endure uncomfortable emotions. If children can’t tolerate them, they will become use to avoiding situations that might risk uncomfortable emotions being triggered, and their comfort zone will stay small or become smaller . (I add that it’s normal to feel anxious when facing the uncertainty of new challenges but if we somehow tell ourselves anxiety is unbearable and needs to be avoided at all costs, our brain will continue to tell us the challenge is just too scary to undertake!)
If we help our children expect, notice, accept, endure and cope with unenjoyable emotions, they are also less likely to become reliant on unhealthy ‘quick fix’ strategies for alleviating negative feelings. We do seem to have become a extremely ‘pain’ intolerant society. The irony of this is it probably contributes to the prevalence of poor mental health because of the impact of our incessant attempts to escape discomfort. It’s another example of short-term gains being at the expense of longer term benefits!
When dealing with uncomfortable emotions therefore, do we find unhealthy coping strategies that quickly obliterate them in the short term or do we learn to sit with their discomfort and use more healthy coping strategies until they pass. Do we go for quick relief with a bigger payback or a more mindful and steady acceptance and endurance, fully understanding we are simply not designed to feel fantastic all of the time!
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P.S. Over Christmas there was some delicious gooey, chocolate filled liquorice in the house! I found myself visiting the packet quite often and I don’t normally have much of a sweet tooth. I decided to test the dopamine ‘driver’ by placing a piece of this liquorice next to my computer while I was writing, to see if I could resist it. I was actually surprised how often, despite my conscious efforts to resist it, I unconsciously went to reach for it. It lasted about 10 minutes before it got gobbled up!